Music Lessons for Neurodivergent Kids in St. Louis: ADHD, Autism, Anxiety & Shyness

By Brian Lee Bauer, MT-BC | Mimic Music Services | Affton, Missouri

Parents ask me questions like these all the time:

“My son has ADHD and has already tried music lessons twice. Do you think this could be different?”

“My daughter is autistic and pretty shy. Will lessons feel overwhelming?”

“He gets anxious when he makes mistakes. Can you work with that?”

Usually, what parents are really asking is something much bigger:

Will my child be understood here?

At Mimic Music Services, that is where we start.

I’m Brian Lee Bauer, a music instructor and Board-Certified Music Therapist based in Affton, Missouri. Over the years, I’ve taught children with a wide range of personalities, learning styles, communication preferences, attention needs, and comfort levels.

Music lessons at Mimic are music education, not therapy. But my training as an MT-BC has shaped the way I approach teaching.

Instead of expecting every student to learn music the same way, I pay attention to the student in front of me.

Music Lessons Don't Have to Look the Same for Every Child

Some students can sit at a piano bench for an entire lesson.

Others learn better when they can move.

Some students are comfortable trying something new immediately.

Others need to watch first, hear it several times, or know exactly what is coming before they are ready to participate.

Some students love performing.

Others may need much more time before playing in front of anyone feels comfortable.

None of those differences mean a child can't learn music.

They simply mean the lesson may need to meet them where they are.

One Mimic Music parent shared:

“Our son has ADHD and really struggles sustaining his attention and with impulse control, and we worried that this would be a major barrier for him in taking piano lessons. But Brian is incredibly patient and makes each lesson fun and engaging, and our son looks forward to his lessons each week.”

That is the goal.

Not forcing a child to fit a particular lesson format, but finding an approach that gives them the best opportunity to learn.

Structure Can Make Lessons Feel More Manageable

For many students, knowing what to expect makes starting something new easier.

That is why Mimic Music lessons generally follow a familiar rhythm.

A lesson may include:

• A short check-in and warm-up

• Review of a song or skill we've already worked on

• Time to learn or practice something new

• A clear recap of what to work on before the next lesson

Students also leave with a simple reminder of what we're working toward.

The exact lesson can change depending on the student and the day, but there is still a sense of direction.

One parent wrote:

“Brian does a great job keeping him engaged and motivated as well as providing us tips for home.”– Angela K.

That connection between the lesson and what happens at home can be especially helpful for families who aren't sure how much practice is enough or how to encourage it without turning music into another battle.

Student Choice Helps Keep Music Personal

There are skills every developing musician needs to build.

But that doesn't mean every student has to learn those skills through the exact same songs.

At Mimic Music, students have a say in what they play.

One student might want to learn music from a favorite video game. Another might want Taylor Swift on the ukulele. Someone else may be excited about classic rock, movie music, or writing their own songs.

Their interests give us another way into the learning process.

“They work with our son to learn music he is interested in which keeps him motivated.”– Julie O.

Another student shared:

“He is curious about your unique goals and abilities and works that knowledge into each lesson.”– David I.

The goal isn't to throw away structure.

It's to combine strong instruction with music that gives the student a reason to care.

Progress Doesn't Have to Happen All at Once

Some students love big goals.

Others need to see progress in much smaller steps.

Both count.

A successful lesson might mean learning an entire section of a song.

It might also mean playing one transition more smoothly, understanding a rhythm that felt confusing last week, or simply being willing to try something that previously felt intimidating.

We break larger skills into manageable pieces and make sure students can recognize their progress along the way.

One parent said:

“My daughter tends to be shy, Brian has been able to connect with her. He consistently encourages and challenges her.”– Caitlin B.

That balance matters.

Students should be challenged.

But they should also leave knowing that progress doesn't require perfection.

Mistakes Are Part of Music

For some students, especially kids who put a lot of pressure on themselves, making a mistake can feel much bigger than the mistake itself.

Music gives us a lot of opportunities to practice something important:

Try it.

Miss it.

Figure out what happened.

Try it again.

There is no shame attached to that process.

One student described me as:

“Fun and patient and supportive, even when you’re a student who doesn’t practice enough.”– Kim K.

Do I want students to practice? Absolutely.

But guilt usually isn't a very useful teaching tool.

If practice didn't happen that week, we figure out where we are and keep moving forward.

What Might a Lesson Look Like for a Child With ADHD?

There isn't one ADHD lesson plan because there isn't one type of child with ADHD.

Depending on the student, we might:

• Keep activities shorter and change tasks more frequently

• Allow movement during the lesson

• Play an instrument while standing when appropriate

• Use clear, immediate feedback

• Break larger assignments into smaller steps

• Incorporate music the student is excited about

A parent of one Mimic Music student wrote:

“Brian is incredibly patient and makes each lesson fun and engaging, and our son looks forward to his lessons each week.”

The important part isn't checking off a list of ADHD accommodations.

It's paying attention to what helps that particular student stay connected to the lesson.

What About Autistic Students?

Autistic students can have very different needs, preferences, strengths, and sensitivities.

For one student, a predictable lesson routine may be important.

Another may benefit from demonstrations instead of long verbal explanations.

Another may become deeply engaged when the music connects with a favorite topic or interest.

Depending on the student, lessons may include:

• Clear and direct instructions

• Visual demonstrations

• A predictable lesson structure

• Adjustments to lighting or sound when possible

• No expectation of eye contact

• Music connected to the student's interests

• Additional time to become comfortable with new material

Before lessons begin, I want parents to tell me what they've already learned about their child.

You know your child better than I do. That information helps me teach them more effectively.

What If My Child Is Anxious or Shy?

Not every student needs to perform right away.

Some students love the idea of a recital from day one.

Others would rather disappear behind the piano.

That's okay.

We can work toward confidence gradually.

That may mean playing for me first, recording a piece, playing for a parent, or simply getting comfortable enough during lessons to take musical risks without worrying about doing everything perfectly.

One parent shared:

“My daughter began ukulele lessons... even though she tends to be shy, Brian has been able to connect with her. She loves her ukulele lessons!”– Caitlin B.

Confidence doesn't have to be rushed.

It can be built.

Parents Are Part of the Process, Too

Sometimes the student isn't the only person who needs guidance.

Parents often want to know:

How much should we practice?

Should I remind them?

What if they refuse?

Should I sit in the lesson?

What if they have a rough day?

Those are normal questions.

For younger students, parents can sit in when appropriate, and I'm happy to talk through ways to support practice at home without making music another source of stress.

And if a student comes in having a difficult day?

We adjust.

Some days we make big progress.

Some days we play something familiar, reconnect, and call that a win.

Music Lessons Are Not a Replacement for Clinical Support

This distinction matters.

I am a Board-Certified Music Therapist, but Mimic Music lessons are music instruction, not music therapy or treatment for ADHD, autism, anxiety, or any other diagnosis.

If your child needs clinical, behavioral, occupational, mental health, or therapeutic support, music lessons should not replace that care.

What my background does give me is another lens for understanding that people learn, communicate, respond, and connect in different ways.

That perspective influences the way I teach.

How Do I Know If Mimic Music Is a Good Fit for My Child?

You don't have to figure that out from a website.

Before a student joins my schedule, I like to talk with the parent or family first.

Tell me about your child.

What do they love?

What has frustrated them in other activities or lessons?

Have they tried music before?

What instrument are they interested in?

What would make you feel like lessons were successful six months from now?

The goal isn't to convince every family that Mimic Music is the right fit.

It's to determine whether we're the right fit for each other.

Music Lessons Built Around the Student

Your child doesn't need to become a different kind of learner before they can become a musician.

They need an instructor willing to pay attention to how they learn.

At Mimic Music Services in Affton, we work with students throughout the St. Louis area, including children with ADHD, autism, anxiety, shyness, and other individual learning needs.

Lessons combine structure, student interests,